CYN
how to break-up with your fake greencard girlfriend
the bolded statements are my fave & so true…
Steps:
- Remind her that you are a flaming homosexual.
- Pretend you are Rachel McAdams/ Gena Rowlands in The Notebook and get a memory defecit.
- Be real flaky. This is best used with #1, blow off important meetings for booty calls.
- Indicate that you aren’t too worried about getting caught. Prison might be fun!
- If she is still persistent, you have to sit her down and ask her to kindly stop asking you to break the law. It sounded fun at first, but then it all got a little too real.
Tips:
- Step #1 is best performed with a loose fitting silk shirt, unbuttoned almost to the navel.
- Try setting your ringtone to “It’s Raining Men”
- When meeting with your lawyer draw gay pornographic pictures in the margins of your notes. Works best if your “notes” are actually just doodles.
- First rule of fake INS marriages is don’t talk about fake INS marriages, especially over email. They are going to find it.
Favorite Warning:
- You could go to jail and face serious financial penalties and be denied the use of your own Passport on a probationary period if you are caught faking a marriage. It’s not worth it.
What You’ll Need:
- Sense of humor
- Some Celine Dion cds
- Some gaul
